Why is it okay to not be okay?

Nov 23, 2022 | Wellness

Not okay, burnout

I don’t have to tell you that life can be challenging, life can feel hard and life can be messy. Even when we’re trying our best, sometimes it doesn’t feel like our best is good enough. Sometimes we just want to retreat back to the comfort of our beds and wait for everything to sort itself out.

During these times, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to acknowledge that all is not okay. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that might be bubbling under the surface. Find a safe space and give yourself the opportunity to let out whatever you have been holding in. And finally, show yourself compassion.


And know at that point that you are not okay.


You see, one of the recurring themes that I discuss with my clients is their need to keep things together. They have taken on the responsibility of being the glue that keeps everything together. And just like a dormant volcano, they’re aware they could explode at any moment. That’s what not being okay feels like for them.

Not being okay and acknowledging you’re not okay is a good thing. However, I don’t need to tell you that feeling permanently ‘not okay’ is not a good place to be.

There comes a point when you reach a crossroads. You can choose to dwell or you can choose to do something about it.

Obviously, dwelling is so much easier because you’ve already built up the momentum. However, how does that actually feel? Not good would be an understatement.

Doing something about it is a simple choice but takes work. However, doing something about it not only will make you feel better but you will then be able to enjoy life.

I invite you to try the following

Acknowledge your current reality

Take the time to acknowledge your current situation. You are where you are and you cannot change what has happened. It may not be easy, but accepting your current situation will help you to move on.

Have the courage to feel

You will have lots of emotions bubbling around inside of you. You may feel angry. You may feel frustrated. You may feel sad. Whatever the emotion is, give yourself some space to feel it so that you can eventually let it go.

Release the tension

Be brave and allow yourself to let go of whatever you’re trying to hold on to. By letting go, you are giving yourself the opportunity to move forward. As long as you hold on, you will remain stuck.

Be kind to yourself

Show yourself some compassion. Speak to yourself in the same way you would talk to a good friend. Give yourself some time and space to recharge your battery. Put yourself at the top of the list and give yourself what you need.


Make your decision

Decide what your next best move is. Only you know what that is. Decide which path you want to follow and take the first small step to get you moving towards where you want to go.

It is okay to not be okay. However, you are in control of how long you stay there. It is up to you whether that becomes a permanent fixture in your life or whether you decide to do something about it. The choice is yours. You can do it.

Are you ready to be okay?


You might also like to read, You’re not broken so stop looking for someone to fix you.

If you need some help getting started then take a look at my book, ‘Busy! The working mum’s guide to confidently walking life’s tightrope’.

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