You’re not broken so stop looking for someone to fix you
There have been many times when I have felt like I was broken, especially since becoming a mum. When I felt that I was failing as a mum. That I didn’t know what I’m doing. That I just didn’t have the energy to try anymore.
These are the times when being a mum has been the most challenging. You see, it is easy to just give up and give in.
However, what are you telling yourself?
Would you say the same thing to your best friend
Would you say the same thing to your children?
The truth is, you’re not broken. You’re choosing to focus on what is going wrong instead of making things go right.
And why is that?
Because that is the easier option.
I know that sounds crazy. But when you are tired, exhausted and feeling like you have nothing more to give, you feel like your only option is to surrender instead of fight.
I don’t have to tell you that feeling broken is really uncomfortable. But worse than that, when we feel broken it’s difficult to decide what we need to do to change things.
Your focus is on how you are feeling rather than what I need to do to change this feeling. You’ve put yourself in a box, let’s call it the ‘I’m not good enough box’, and all you’re thinking is I’m trapped and there is no way out.
The truth is, we have the power to make that change within us. It’s that simple but not necessarily easy. That’s why sometimes we need a little help to see what we cannot.
But once you know what options are available to you, nothing will stop you from changing the way you feel and getting to where you want to go.
So you see, you do not need to be fixed. However, you may need help in feeling differently. You may need guidance and support to get you onto a better path.
I want to remind you that you are braver than you think you are.
So what if in those difficult moments you took the time to pause so that you could see the best way to make things go right? Wouldn’t that be more helpful?
Take the time to breathe properly and focus on your breath. This will help you to focus on being in the present moment rather than the chaos that might be happening around you.
Pause, reflect and act
By continuing to struggle, things will get worse not better. However, if you allow yourself to stop and think you will be able to see more clearly what your options are. You will be able to give yourself the opportunity to remove the blinkers that have been blinding you to what you could do.
Get out of the box
It is our choice how we view life or which box we put ourselves in. It might be the ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’m not clever enough’ or ‘I’m a failure’. However, until you decide to get out of the box you will always have feelings of being broken.
Refocus your attention
Being able to stay out of the box is all about being able to enact your go-to techniques that will help you to refocus your attention. Refocusing will help you switch from a negative mindset to a positive one. A great way to do this is to recall past memories which have warmed your heart and put a smile on your face. Let those memories inspire you to refocus your attention.
It’s not enough to just refocus, you then need to take action. Go do what you need to do so that life can start to change. Take the smallest of steps that will be achievable. Then keep taking those small steps until you are where you want to be.
You are the author of your story so put your big girl pants on and write the story you want to live. You do have the power to change the way life turns out so make it a great way because you’re worth it.
How will you make that first change?
If you need some help getting started then take a look at my book, ‘Busy! The working mum’s guide to confidently walking life’s tightrope’.
PS to buy a signed copy of my book just click the link
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You might also like to read, You create your reality
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