Why does life pause when we become mums?

Jun 22, 2022 | Wellness


One of the overwhelming things I remember from when I first became a mum is how tired I was. I thought being pregnant was tiring but actually being a mum is even more tiring.

By the end of my average day, I had very little energy to do anything. I would just sit on the sofa, numb to what was going on, waiting until the time I thought it was okay to go to bed.

I’d pressed pause on my life.

I remember looking over at my husband and feeling envious because he still had a zest for life.

But one day something changed. I decided enough was enough. I was fed up with being a couch potato. I was fed up with not having any energy. I was fed up with not doing anything for me.

I decided that life was too short to not feature in it.

I wanted more and I deserved more. I stopped waiting and decided to restart my life.

So why do mums think it’s okay to pause life?

There are so many reasons, or should I say excuses, that we come up with that make pausing life when we become a mum acceptable.

  • My children are more important and so life is all about them now.
  • What I want is not important anymore. I’ve had a life.
  • I can focus on myself when my children are grown up.
  • What will everyone think of me if I don’t put all my energy into raising my children?
  • Life is far too busy now to worry about what I want as well.

Can you relate? Do you have your own reason?

It feels quite natural to press pause on life when you become a mum.

I’ve already said I did it.

But it’s not really a conscious decision. It just happens. And then before you know it, you’re being swept along by life.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

You can decide to get back in the driver’s seat and unpause life.

Accept that it’s not selfish and there’s no need to feel guilty

Release the mummy guilt and practice accepting that you deserve to live. It’s your life and you deserve to be happy, which means fulfilling your wants, needs and dreams.

Decide to be a great role model to your kids

I don’t mean to sound corporate but lead by example. There is no point in encouraging your children to live life and try new things if your actions are saying the opposite. Your children look up to you so be a great influencer in their life and take action.

Decide what you want

Take the time to decide what you want. Journaling is a great way to tease out what you want. You can also get creative. Why not create a collage, paint a picture or sketch a drawing. Whatever helps you to decide.

Make a promise to yourself that you will try

It’s easier to stick to the routine that is safe. It takes practice to break old habits. So, make a promise to yourself that you’ll try and that you won’t give up. You may change course but you will keep going.


Take the first step

Starting is the hardest part, so decide what the smallest achievable action is that will get you started. Then continue to take those small steps so that you can build momentum to help you get to where you want to go.

You see it is your life. You get to decide what it looks like. You are not defined by the roles you play. You are an individual. You have wants, needs and dreams to satisfy. Only you can change things. Nobody will save you. But you can save yourself. You can help yourself.

Is it time to restart your life?


If you need some help getting started then take a look at my book, ‘Busy! The working mum’s guide to confidently walking life’s tightrope’.

PS to buy a signed copy of my book just click the LINK


To find out how I can help, click the LINK and book a complimentary 30 minute discovery call.

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You might also like to read, Are you ready to drop the mummy guilt?

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