Staying silent is the worst thing you could do
We all have a voice however we don’t always use it in the best way for ourselves. Sometimes, it feels easier to just stay silent.
This might be because we think no one is listening.
This might be because we think that no one wants to hear what we have to say.
This might be because we don’t know what we want to say.
Whatever your reason for staying silent is, remember that you do have a voice.
Whatever you have to say is worth hearing.
Whatever you have to say, you will find the words.
Whatever you have to say, someone will be ready to listen.
Feeling like you haven’t got a voice feels like you are trapped, although there are no walls around you.
Feeling like you haven’t got a voice can feel claustrophobic.
Feeling like you haven’t got a voice can feel like you’re invisible.
This is what it can feel like when you first become a mum.
The only human being that people now see is this newborn baby that has just arrived into the world, instead of also seeing this wonderful woman who has grown this wonder.
And it’s hard.
There is a self-inflicted pressure that comes with being a mum. Sure, we make it look easy but if only people knew what was going on inside. If only you could express what was going on inside.
When I first became a mum, I had trouble using my voice. It wasn’t that I couldn’t speak. I could do that but I couldn’t tell anyone how I was feeling.
At first, it was because I didn’t want anyone to think that I wasn’t a good mother or that I didn’t know what I was doing. Then, as the pressure started to build, I couldn’t actually find the words to tell people how I was feeling or even what I needed.
This felt really strange to me as I’d never had trouble speaking before. But now was different. I felt different.
It felt like a real struggle. The worst thing was, that when I attempted to tell people how I was feeling I couldn’t find the words. And any words I did find weren’t the right ones.
I just needed to find someone who could help me find the voice that was inside. To help me to put the pieces of the jigsaw together and see what was really going on.
That person would tell me the following.
Take time out
Sometimes the best thing for us is to take some time out. I know it’s difficult with a newborn, but it is okay. Someone will be there to help you if you just ask. This can be just 5 minutes to walk around the block. So that you have the opportunity to step away from the situation, clear your head and then come back with a fresh pair of eyes.
For me, journaling is a great way of not only getting the jumbled stuff out of my head onto paper, so I can make sense of it, but also a great way of just letting go of the stuff that we hold onto.
Decide what you need to say
The more we think we don’t know what we want to say the harder it is to find the words we’re looking for. The best thing is to keep it simple. Start with what you need. Is it time? Is it help? Is it a warm bath in peace? The words will then come more easily.
Find your inner cheerleader
You should always be your biggest fan. You are the only one that really knows you. If you are your biggest fan then just wait and others will then follow. You are doing the best you can and that is good enough.
You then have all you need to just start talking. Find someone who you trust and just start talking. Their only role is to listen.
We all feel like we’ve lost our voice at some point in our lives however it is our responsibility to find the voice within and use it. To stay silent is not the only option. Staying silent will not help. It’s about digging deep and speaking out.
How will you use your voice next?
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You might also like to read, Five reasons why you feel stuck
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