Your Limiting Beliefs Are Holding You Back From What You Want

What if the reason why you’re waiting isn’t what you think it is?

You might be thinking, “I’m waiting for the right time.” Or perhaps you’re waiting until you have enough money. Or maybe you’re waiting until you feel ready.

And I get it, because those can feel like very real reasons for not doing something.

You might want to change your career, start a business, make more money, improve your relationship, get healthier or finally do something you’ve been thinking about for years.

Yet sometimes, the thing that is actually stopping you isn’t the situation.

It’s what you think about yourself.

Your thoughts are influencing your decisions

Think about something you want to do.

Now think about what you say to yourself when you consider doing it.

Perhaps it sounds something like:
“I’m not ready”
“I don’t know enough”
“What if I get it wrong?”
“I can’t afford it.”
“Someone else is already doing this.”
“Maybe I should wait until things are easier.”

The problem is that we often treat these thoughts as facts and we don’t stop and question them. We simply believe them and then make decisions based on them. We are choosing, unconsciously, to be limited by our beliefs.

And that’s why, limiting beliefs can have such an impact.

A limiting belief is a belief you have about yourself, other people or the world that limits what you believe is possible for you.

And because you believe it, you don’t necessarily recognise it as a belief. You see it as the truth.

So how do you change what you’re doing?

It’s definitely not telling yourself to “just think positively” because that doesn’t help when you feel like there is a genuine problem in front of you.

If you don’t have the money, you don’t have the money.

If you don’t have the skills yet, you might genuinely need to learn them.

If something is going to be difficult, you need time to work out how to make it easier.

Instead, we can look at what you are making the situation mean and whether the thoughts you are having are actually helping you.

I’ll often ask questions that help a client look at something from a different perspective.

What evidence do you have that this is true?
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t get it wrong?
What are you assuming?
What would you tell a friend in exactly the same situation?
And perhaps most importantly, what could you think instead that would help you take the next step?

Here are 3 things you can do when your thoughts are holding you back

Start questioning the thought rather than automatically believing it

This is useful because a thought can feel true simply because you have repeated it for a long time.

When you notice yourself thinking, “I’m not ready,” “I can’t afford it” or “I don’t know what I’m doing,” stop and ask yourself whether it is actually a fact or an assumption you have made.

Write the thought down and then look for evidence that supports it and evidence that challenges it.

You are not trying to convince yourself that everything is fine.

You are giving yourself the chance to see the situation more objectively. If you start doing this regularly, you may find that some of the decisions you thought were impossible are actually decisions you can make.

Ask yourself what you would do if you felt more confident

This is useful when self-doubt is influencing your decisions because it separates what you want to do from the fear you have around doing it.

Think about the situation you are facing and imagine that, for a moment, you believed you were capable of handling whatever happened next.

What would you do?
Would you have the conversation?
Apply for the job?
Put yourself forward?
Start the business?
Ask for the money?

You don’t need to suddenly feel confident before taking action. The point is to identify the action that fear is currently stopping you from taking.

The more you practise making decisions based on what you want rather than what fear is telling you, the more confident you can become in your ability to handle what comes next.