Rebuilding Confidence: How to Drop the Mask and Own Your New Chapter

Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us, doesn’t it? 

Whether you’re grappling with redundancy, navigating a new chapter after a divorce, stepping into retirement, returning to work as a new mum, or something else, it’s easy to feel like your confidence has taken a serious knock. 

Suddenly, you’re standing at a crossroads in life, feeling unsure and wondering where that fearless version of you disappeared to. 

You’re not alone. 

Feeling too scared to be truly seen because you lack the confidence is more common than you might think. It’s something many of us experience, especially when we’re trying to find our feet again after a major life event. 

However, hiding behind that invisible mask, pretending everything is fine, doesn’t really help. It might feel safe however it’s not making you feel any better inside, is it? 

Let’s rewind for a moment. 

Remember when we were kids? Home was that one place where we felt safe. The outside world couldn’t touch us, unless someone had the nerve to ring the landline or, heaven forbid, turn up unannounced. 

These days, there’s no hiding. Life is fast, relentless and always in your face. If you’re not careful, it’s easy to lose yourself especially when your confidence has already taken a hit. 

So, what do we do?

Most of us slap on a metaphorical mask and go about our business, hoping no one notices how fragile we’re feeling. 

It’s a quick fix, sure. Yet, does it make you happy? Is it really the answer? 

Only you can decide that. 

One thing I see time and time again with my coaching clients is that when their confidence is low, they often lose sight of who they are.

After all, when you’re trying to fit in or avoid conflict, you’re likely to start living by other people’s rules, not your own. And that’s where the real struggle begins. Because deep down, it doesn’t feel right, does it?

You’re no longer living by your values. It’s like walking around in someone else’s shoes and, no surprise, it’s uncomfortable. 

So, let’s start at the beginning. Before you can rebuild your confidence and step into this new chapter of life, it’s time to reconnect with who you really are. 

Sounds simple, right? 

And yet, after a major life shift, it’s often the hardest thing to do. Here’s where you start. 

Rediscover You

Think back to before this new transition in your life. What made you, you? What are the things that made you smile? What gave you joy and what gave you peace? 

Taking the time to reflect on these questions helps you reconnect with your true self. You are still you, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. 

Get Clear on Your Values

Here’s the thing about confidence, it thrives when you live according to your values. Your values act like a compass, guiding you through life’s twists and turns. When you honour them, things start to feel more aligned and more natural. But when you ignore them that’s when the inner conflict starts bubbling up. 

Knowing your values is key to feeling good about yourself, especially when you’re at a crossroads. So, what do you stand for? What’s important to you?