Limiting Beliefs: How the Labels You Give Yourself Shape Your Life

What if the person you think you are is based on a label you picked up years ago?

It’s funny how we collect labels throughout our lives. We pick them up from our parents, teachers, friends, colleagues and even from ourselves. Then we carry them around as though they are part of our identity, without ever stopping to question whether they are true.

Some labels we see as positive. Like being told you are intelligent, brave, or a natural leader can encourage you to believe in yourself and achieve things you might never have thought possible.

Others can have a very different effect. You might believe you are clumsy, disorganised, a worrier or someone who has never been good with money. Over time, you start behaving as though these labels are facts rather than beliefs you have collected along the way.

Let me give you an example from my childhood.

I remember sitting with my mum and brother. My mum was trying to get my brother to do his homework when she said something along the lines of, “You’re intelligent, but your sister works hard.”

And that was it. I became the hard worker.

Looking back, I can see how that comment contributed to the way I saw myself. Working hard became part of my identity.

Now, there is nothing wrong with working hard. However, when you believe that working hard is what makes you who you are, where do you draw the line? Could that belief lead to perfectionism, taking on too much or feeling that you always have to prove yourself?

It is worth thinking about, isn’t it?

Why limiting beliefs can influence your confidence and behaviour

The interesting thing about labels is that once you accept one, it leads you unconsciously to start looking for evidence to prove it is true.

Imagine you believe you are terrible at making decisions. Every time you hesitate, you tell yourself, “See, I knew I wasn’t good at this.” However, when you make a decision confidently, you might dismiss it as a one-off.

You are effectively collecting evidence to support a belief you already hold.

It is a bit like wearing a pair of tinted glasses. Everything you see is coloured by the lens you are looking through, and you might not even realise you are wearing them.

These beliefs can influence how you behave, the opportunities you pursue, the decisions you make and the way you speak to yourself.

You are not your labels. You are a person who has learned to think and behave in certain ways, and you can choose to do things differently.

How to overcome limiting beliefs: 3 practical tips

Recognise the negative labels you have collected

I want you to start to become aware of the labels you use to describe yourself. This is useful because you cannot question a belief you haven’t recognised. Take a few minutes to write down the things you regularly say about yourself.

Perhaps you tell yourself that you are a worrier, that you are rubbish with money, that you are not confident enough to speak up or that you always leave things until the last minute.

Include positive labels, too, such as being the reliable one, the problem solver or the person who always puts everyone else first.

Then ask yourself where each label came from. Was it something someone said to you years ago, or is it based on something you have experienced more recently?

You might begin to notice that some of these descriptions have been following you around for years without you ever questioning them. Recognising this gives you the opportunity to decide which beliefs genuinely serve you and which ones are getting in your way.

Challenge your limiting beliefs by getting curious

Once you have identified a label, resist the temptation to accept it as the truth. Instead, get curious about it.
If you believe you are disorganised, ask yourself whether you are disorganised in every area of your life or whether there are situations where you manage things perfectly well.

If you believe you are not confident, think about a time when you spoke up, made a difficult decision or did something that took courage. What does that tell you?

This exercise is useful because it helps you see the difference between a label and the reality of your experience. You are looking for evidence rather than automatically accepting the story you have been telling yourself.

When you start questioning these beliefs, you permit yourself to behave differently.