Hugs and Happiness: Why Sometimes Letting Go Makes Us Happier
Take a moment to answer this question.
What are you attached to?
We can become attached to many things.
We will naturally become attached to people. After all, we are social beings and we find comfort in being with other people.
We can become attached to our possessions. This may be because they have sentimental value, which means they hold emotional significance.
We can become attached to places. This may be a family home or a favourite place to visit, which provokes certain feelings and memories.
We can become attached to ideas and beliefs. We can become strongly attached to beliefs, values or ideologies, which influence our thoughts and behaviours and how we interact with others.
Now tell me, how does it feel when these things are hurt, damaged or questioned?
How does it influence the way you behave and respond?
What emotions does it trigger?
What does it take away from you?
Your answers are personal to you and only you know whether the way you view your attachment is serving you.
How about letting go?
If you feel that they’re not serving you and you’re ready to let go then here are 5 practices that will help you.
Accept what you can’t control
There are things in life that you cannot change. And yet, we insist on getting tied up in knots trying to control them.
What are the things in your life that you know you have no control over yet still provoke a reaction? You will, no doubt, use up valuable energy and time, which in the end you will see was wasted.
Once you accept what you cannot change, life will feel a lot simpler and easier.
Stop making assumptions
As humans, we spend far too much time filling in the gaps by making assumptions. Uncertainty is uncomfortable so we make things more certain by making assumptions.
Think of the last time you made an assumption. Being right or wrong is irrelevant. What is relevant is the amount of time you spent deciding what to assume and the emotions you went through to get there.
Was it worth it?
Or, would it have been better if you’d just accepted what you knew to be true and left it at that?
Forgive and move on
In simple terms, forgiving is about letting go of the bad feelings so that you can move on. It is not about forgetting or saying that what has happened is right or wrong.
Holding onto negative emotions harms us and not the individual who we believe has done wrong. It acts as an obstacle that means we cannot move forward.
Progress can only be made when you allow yourself to let go and forgive.
Question your belief
We collect beliefs throughout our lives. These may be from what we have personally experienced, as a result of what someone else has experienced or what someone else has told you.
These beliefs then influence our thoughts and in turn our behaviour.
The question I have for you is, are your beliefs making you happy?
What if you were to question your beliefs? Would this make you more open? Would that improve your life? Would life feel better?
I regularly tell my clients to get curious. Use curiosity as a way to better understand what’s happening instead of judgment. Being curious will lead to self-awareness. And self-awareness leads to understanding yourself and others better. This is more likely to lead to acceptance and your ability to let go of any negative emotions you may have held.
It is up to us whether we allow the attachments in our lives to bring us down or raise us up. Even better if you can detach from them all together and just accept so that you can enjoy the here and now instead of worrying about the future or dwelling in the past.
Is your attachment an irritation?
You might also like to read, Being realistic is your biggest barrier
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