Being realistic is your biggest barrier

Mar 15, 2023 | Work


How often have you told yourself to be realistic?

Or worse than that, been told by someone else that you should be realistic?

Why is that?

In the corporate world, it’s called managing expectations. Highlighting the fact that something may not happen or turn out in the way it is expected.

The truth is, by being realistic you’re stopping yourself from achieving the thing that you desire. You’re sowing the seed of doubt. You’re already saying it’s okay not to succeed or should I say it’s okay to fail! You’re not fully committing yourself to it.

And why is this?


Fear of failure. Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of judgment.

What would happen if you stopped being realistic?

What if you dared to dream and believed that anything is possible?


Norman Vincent Peale was right when he said ‘Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars’.


In other words, go ahead and aim high because even if you miss you’ll achieve more than if you limited yourself to what you thought was possible.

mum to be, judging, decisions


To get past opting for being realistic, start to become aware of the language you’re using when you talk as well as the thoughts you have.

What words are you using that may be restricting your actions or limiting what you think you can achieve? Are you coming from a place of lack? You might be telling yourself that you’re not good enough, you don’t have the skills and experience or you’re too young.

What stories are you telling yourself that reinforce these limitations and restrictions? You might be telling yourself that good things don’t happen to you, things always go wrong or life never quite turns out how I expected it to.

You will notice patterns which need to be replaced if you’re going to move on from being realistic.

Re-programme your vocabulary

Life will only start to be different when you re-programme the language you use, which means the way you speak to others as well as yourself.

Refocus your mind towards the positive. Remember, where your focus goes energy flows. In other words, if your focus is on the negative and how life is lacking then don’t be surprised if that’s how your life feels. So start to look for the good and see life through the lens of love.

Choose to use positive language that lifts you instead of words that bring you down. And if this feels awkward then just add ‘yet’. For example, I don’t have my dream job yet, I haven’t found my life partner yet or I am not fit yet.

Commit to what you desire

What is it that you want?

You may have heard people ask ‘what would you do if money was no object?’ This is a great question because it takes away one of our biggest perceived barriers, money.

So, what is it that you want? Imagine it by seeing it, feeling it and hearing it.

Now decide the small actions you will take to get you there. Keep it simple. Keep it manageable. Keep it doable.

Share with your supports

Progressing in life is easier when you have the support of others who will cheer you on and keep you accountable.

You know who they are in your life. It’s the people around you who will listen and ask good questions, they’re the first ones to celebrate your success with you and the first to spur you on when you’re faced with a challenge.


Kindness is key, so always be kind to yourself. There will be times when things don’t quite go according to plan but that does not give your inner critic permission to rain on your parade.

Instead, pause, reflect and choose your next best move.

Similarly, when things go well then celebrate. Immerse yourself in what you have achieved and use this momentum to propel yourself forward.


The only person who will ever really stand in your way is you. You get to decide whether you progress forward or not. There will be times when life feels hard and moving forward is not possible. However, you can do it. There will also be many times in life when everything feels amazing and you should take the time to enjoy it.


Is it time to stop being realistic?


You might also like to read, Do you have the confidence to fail?

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