Do you have the confidence to fail?

Jan 18, 2023 | Wellness

confidence, fail

Who likes to fail? I know that I don’t. Failing feels horrible. For me, when things aren’t going according to plan and I feel like I’m failing, I go off my food, I dwell on the failure, I get a stomach ache, my confidence is knocked and I go into a negative spin. It doesn’t feel nice at all.

But, I’m getting used to it. I’m practising feeling comfortable with failing.

Because what I’ve learnt is, failing holds many treasures.

You see, my relationship with failure, and trying to avoid it, has been an interesting one.

Throughout my life I’ve constantly been striving to succeed because I’ve always believed that failing makes you look like you don’t know what you’re doing.

That’s what I thought.

However, surprisingly since leaving the corporate world I’ve realised that I need to be friends with failure. Learning gradually that failure can be good.

I know this sounds ridiculous but bear with me.

Coaching, Great, self care, returning to work, Maria Newman

For me, the times when I’ve stumbled or tripped have given me my biggest eureka moments or have made me stop and look at how far I’ve come. You either win or learn.

Here are 6 ways that failing can be helpful

Great way to learn

I would totally agree that I learn more when I fail than when I succeed. I know this doesn’t quite sound right but for me it’s true. I remember when things have gone wrong more than the times when things go right. And so, when I go to repeat the action, like arranging an event, I know how to make it better. I am also more likely to hold my hand up when I realise I’ve made a mistake.

Builds resilience

I know that failing has actually helped me to become more resilient. I’m less bothered by the failure, although it still feels uncomfortable, and more concerned about what I’ve learnt and how I can move on. And that’s the main thing. Being able to learn and then move on. Rather than dwelling on the ‘shoulda, woulda and coulda’.

Emphasizes how temporary things are

Although at the time, it feels like the world has ended. In all honesty, I pretty quickly forget what’s happened and move on. More important things become the focus. Time may feel like it’s frozen but in reality, before we know it, it’s old news.

Makes you more likely to take risks

As I’ve grown older, I’ve been more likely to throw caution to the wind and go all in. I’ve gone ahead and taken that risk knowing the value that can come from failure or even reframing it and knowing how not to do something.

Leads to better ideas

Things going wrong or not turning out how I expected them to have led me to take a different approach. I’ve got to admit, these have usually been some of my better ideas because I’ve had to be creative, rather than going for the easier option. I’ve had to figure out a better way to do things. After all, the journey we take doesn’t have to be a straight line. It’s quite often a wiggly one.

mentor for mums, Maria Newman

Helps you appreciate your journey

When things have not gone how I expected them to, it’s been a great opportunity for me to stop and appreciate how far I’ve come. Acknowledge what I can now do that I couldn’t a few months ago. It pulls me out of feeling bad and helps to put things into perspective. 

So, the next time you think you’ve failed just remember this list and keep going.

What will you do?


You might also like to read, What stories are you living by?

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