Being busy is the worst habit you can be good at

Dec 7, 2022 | Wellness

Busy, Maria Newman

When I was a child, I loved being busy. And that was okay because I was doing the things I wanted to do. I was getting involved with activities that I loved and in return made me feel great. I was focused on enjoying life and making the most of all the opportunities that came my way.

And to be honest, this didn’t stop after I became an ‘adult’.

But there was a point in my life where choosing to be busy because I wanted to experience life turned into being busy to fill time.

That point was when my first serious boyfriend broke up with me and so I needed to fill the time so I could avoid feeling sad. So that I could hide feeling alone! Being busy was my coping mechanism.

And from that point, I practised it a lot. So much so that I became very good at being busy. It had transitioned from a copy mechanism to just being an expert in being busy.

So, when I became a mum being busy was easy because there are so many things that need to be done when you’re a mum!


Well, I’m here to tell you that being busy is a bad habit.

Forgive, identity, Mum

Life is not about being busy. Life is not about filling time or completing your ridiculously long to-do list or just getting stuff done. 

Life is about living. It’s about having a great experience. It’s about doing the things you love. It’s about doing things that matter and that make you happy.

And besides, as I’ve said before when you’re happy everyone benefits and you’re also being an awesome role model to your children.

I invite you decide to stop being busy.

Here’s how you can start

Why are you busy?

Start by being honest with yourself and understanding why you’re busy. Maybe it’s because:

  • There are too many things to do and only you can do them – is this true? Does everything need to be done? Are you really the only one who can do them? Or is it that you are avoiding something or hiding something?
  • You want to be the best you can be for your children – does being busy equal doing your best? Do your children think you’re wonderful because you’re busy? Is this your expectation or someone else’s?
  • You think that time needs to be filled doing something – why is that? What would happen if you took some time to do nothing?

Shake off those beliefs that are not serving you

Before you can stop being busy, you need to let go of the beliefs that you are holding onto that force you to always choose to be busy. There are many tools you can use like journaling, meditating and going for a walk. Identify your beliefs, acknowledge them and over time practice letting them go.

Decide what you will do

Write down all the things you think need to be done. Then cross off the things that don’t really matter, and yes your list will still include chores. Then be realistic about whether you need to do them or if someone else can help, which will include your partner and children.

It’s a team effort

It’s time to accept that being a family is a team effort. It’s not mum’s responsibility to be the glue that keeps family life going like a well-oiled machine. If you’re serious about being less busy and enjoying life then your family needs to help.

Practise being less busy

Then it’s about practising being less busy. Remember all habits take time to change and the more you practice the quicker you’ll create a better habit that serves you.

You see being busy is a choice. You can be busy doing things that are important and things that make you happy or you can be busy filling time. It’s your choice.

Are you the wrong kind of busy?


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You might also like to read, Why are mums too busy to pause?

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