Are you just waiting for them to realise you don’t know what you’re doing?
Did you ever wish that someone had given you a mum manual when you first became a mum? A comprehensive instruction book on how to be a mum, how to raise your child and how to deal with any scenario that might happen?
There were days when I would have said yes. To be honest, there are still days when I wish I had a book to refer to that outlines exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.
But that book for mums doesn’t exist. And it shouldn’t exist because we are all unique. Our children are unique. One size doesn’t fit all.
Life is a learning journey. Making mistakes and learning from them makes life interesting. Yes, life can be messy and there will be drama however think of the alternative. I think it would be dull and boring. And probably very clinical!
Our need to not make mistakes and know what to do is driven by our concern about what others may think. You see, our thoughts are more powerful than we know. What we’re thinking impacts the actions we take, the way we speak and the way we show up in life.
It’s only natural to worry about what others are thinking. It goes back to when we all lived in caves. Being liked and being part of the tribe was essential for our survival and so what others thought of us was crucial.
But that is not the case today.
Your survival is not about being accepted by a tribe. Your survival and the ability to thrive is more about how you feel about yourself and whether you have developed the inner strength and inner peace to live life how you see fit.
Stay in your own lane
So stop comparing yourself to Mildred down the road who seems to have the perfect life and the perfect children. What she’s up to is none of your business and your time and energy would be better off focusing on what you’re doing.
Have the courage to trust yourself. Deep down you know what to do and what is best. It’s just that sometimes doing what’s right might feel uncomfortable or awkward. And that’s okay. That feeling is just reminding you that you’re stepping away from what is comfortable.
Focus on what is true
When my daughter is upset by something that has happened that is unfair, I always remind her that she knows the truth and that is what’s important. We cannot control how others think, behave or how they speak. But we can control our response. When you focus on what is true life feels easier.
Change the story
Throughout our lifetime we have acquired and developed a lot of beliefs. Some serve us and others hinder us. Start to turn the volume up on what is helpful and mute what is distracting you.
It’s okay to pause
When life feels hard, instead of looking for what you can do try doing the opposite and pause. Take timeout. Be still so that you can really see what’s going on and give yourself the space to decide what your next best move is.
So instead of worrying about whether you’re doing it right, fully commit to having a go and learning from what happens. I invite you to think in a way that will allow you to be the best you can be.
Are you ready to accept yourself for who you are?
If you need some help getting started then take a look at my book, ‘Busy! The working mum’s guide to confidently walking life’s tightrope’.
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You might also like to read, Are you ready to drop the mummy guilt?
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