You deserve to be at the top of your list

Before I became a mum, I was at the top of my list. I was the most important person in my life. I had a list of things I wanted to achieve. I made sure that I looked after my well-being. I did things for me.

Then I became a mum and things changed. I went from being a focused professional woman climbing the corporate ladder to being demoted to the bottom step of my ladder of life.

I love being a mum but what I’ve learnt is it doesn’t mean sacrificing your life to be a good one. Being a good role model to my children means keeping that top step clear for me.

If I am not energised. If I am not loving life. If I’m not meeting my own needs. Then I am not at my best for my children. Sure I’m capable of doing the chores. Meeting their needs. Making sure they have what they need. But how am I feeling?

Life is too short to put it on hold whilst you raise awesome children. You have been given the gift of life, so don’t waste it.

Let’s be honest. As a mum, your default position is always at the bottom of your to-do list. It’s just something that we do subconsciously.

Life just seems easier if I’ve sorted everyone else out first. If they’re happy then they’ll give me some time to sort myself out. This seemed fine to start with but I soon realised that it’s not sustainable. And actually, why should I be at the bottom of the list?

The first time I realised how low a priority I was in my life was when Lea was just born about eight years ago. We were asked what was life like now we had a baby? My husband answered, nothing’s really changed? This astounded me. But what was even more surprising was how quickly he answered.

Life had definitely changed for me. This got me thinking. Why are we seeing things differently? The simple answer was, for me it was all about my baby. Keeping her safe. Making sure she had everything she needed. And as I was on maternity leave, that was my primary role. It wasn’t about what I wanted anymore and I accepted this.

But the hard truth is, you are the most important person in your life. Because if you’re not feeling good and at your best then you cannot be your best for your loved ones. 

 I ask you again, should you be at the top of your list?

It’s so easy to put the needs of others ahead of our own. That’s what mums do, isn’t it?

Maybe back in the day but not anymore.

It’s your life and you have the choice, the freedom, to live it how you wish. Yes, you have a choice. Choosing to be at the bottom of your list in life is your decision. But let me give you some reasons why I think you should put yourself at the top.

Nobody else will put you first

You are in charge of your life and it’s not up to anyone else to tell you to make yourself a priority. If you don’t do it then I’m here to tell you that no one else will. You deserve to be at the top of your list. You are worth it.

Good role model

I want to be a good role model to my children. I want them to believe what I tell them based on my actions. If I’m not looking after myself and doing what I want then what am I actually telling them?