Why do dads have more fun?
Because they focus on having fun instead of the 101 things that mums think have to be done before the fun can happen!
When I first became a mum, my main focus was on ensuring that I kept my baby safe. Was she dressed appropriately? Was I feeding her enough? Was her environment safe? I was a worrier. I was her protector. If anything bad happened to her, it would be my fault.
Whereas my husband was more relaxed. He had the same concerns but he seemed to be enjoying having her in our life.
This didn’t really change when we had our son. In fact, I probably got a little worse, especially when he caught bronchiolitis, which meant a week’s stay in the hospital when he was just 3 weeks old.
But over time, I realised that if I wanted things to change. If I wanted to have fun with my children, I needed to change. Not so easy when you’re a project manager, a professional organiser!
But it’s simple. It’s a matter of perspective. It’s a matter of priority. It’s a matter of what’s important.
So instead of wondering why dads have more fun, decide what is important to you, make that your priority and then make it happen.
Just because he’s fun dad doesn’t mean you can’t be fun mum.
It’s all about choice. Rather than dwelling on why he’s fun dad choose to be fun mum.
We are in control of what we think, say and do. So being fun mum is all about changing the way we think, what we say and what we do.
Here are 5 things to think about that will get you started.
Important
Decide what is important to you. Obviously, there are chores that need to be done, some of which are important. But not everything that we fill our day with is important. Plus we really don’t have to do everything ourselves. We do have options. We can ask for help.
Prioritise
If you know what is important you can then decide what is your priority. This may sound clinical but it really isn’t. If you want to have fun, then it has to be your priority. As long as you know your children are clothed and fed, the rest can wait.
Top tip, agree on some boundaries as a family so that everyone has time to do ‘their boring stuff’.
Focus on one thing
Men are better at this than us women. We insist on juggling, which as I’ve said before, is a waste of effort. Being a fun mum is much easier if you’re fully present with your children, rather than trying to multi task!
Judgement
We worry too much about what everyone else thinks rather than what we think. We know what is best for ourselves and our family and that’s what matters. It’s about trusting your instinct rather than dwelling on what is right or wrong according to Freda the supermum.
Go with the flow
Let it go and go with the flow. I love a plan and routine but having fun cannot be planned or scheduled. It happens when you dare to let go. To just go with whatever is happening, without the drama of organising and making sure everything is just so.
Over time I have learnt to let go and relax a little. Not just by watching my husband and following his lead. But also, because it’s hard work keeping everything going and life shouldn’t be like that. I want to enjoy life.
I want to live life to its fullest. It’s about having balance and balancing. But if you focus on what’s really important, rather than what needs to be done, it’s much easier.
Are you ready to be a fun mum?
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