Whose expectations are you living up to?

You’re smashing it at work, keeping the family show on the road, staying (somehow) relatively sane, and yet there’s that little voice in the back of your mind asking Is this enough? Am I enough? 

Let me ask you something, whose expectations are you most afraid of not meeting? 

Are they actually yours, deep down, or are they the ones you think others are holding over you? 

It’s a tough one. 

Most high-achieving women I work with don’t even realise they’re chasing expectations that were never theirs to begin with. 

And that chase? 

It’s exhausting. It drains your energy, chips away at your confidence and quietly starts messing with your self-esteem. 

Expectations shape the quality of your life. Whether they’re your own or imagined pressures from the outside, they’re always influencing how you show up, how you feel and how you make decisions. And sometimes, they’re not even helping.

WHY this matters

Because the cost is too high. 

If you’re constantly measuring your worth against a list you never wrote, you’ll never feel like you’re enough. 

That’s unfair and it’s unsustainable.

As a coach, I see it all the time. Brilliant women who are driven, passionate and capable and unknowingly trapped by standards that were never really theirs. 

It’s not just affecting how they feel about themselves. It impacts relationships, career choices, health and that low-level guilt that never seems to switch off. 

Dame Kelly Holmes said, “I made a choice to stop comparing myself to others. That was the moment everything changed.” 

Let me ask you, what would it take to do the same? 

WHAT you need to know

 Yes, having goals is important. Ambition is part of what makes you extraordinary. 

Still, goals should inspire you. Not deplete you. The line between healthy challenge and toxic striving is thinner than we think.

Sometimes, the thing we’re chasing is making us miserable. 

What’s worse, that relentless pressure often comes from an old belief we never questioned. Something passed on by parents, teachers, old bosses or just society’s endless “shoulds.”

Fear of failure doesn’t come from within. It’s learned.

As Brené Brown said, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” 

How would life change for you if you could start being yourself? 

When I’m coaching clients through this, we strip it back. We get curious. We go into those expectations and start asking the questions you might have been too busy or too scared to ask.

HOW to start shifting it

Here’s how I support my clients to rewrite those internal scripts and start showing up more confidently, without apology, without burnout and definitely without guilt.

Top 5 Tips to Reclaim Your Power from Expectations:

Name the Voice

Next time you feel that pressure to do more, achieve more, be more, simply pause. Whose voice is that? Is it truly yours or someone else’s?

Get Real About Your Own Values

What actually matters to you? Not to your boss. Not to your mum. Not to society. You. When you’re clear on your values, decisions get easier.