Who’s judging who?
It doesn’t matter who we think is judging us. The real question is, why should we care?
It’s simple, what others think of us is really none of our business. Spending time, energy and emotion worrying about what others think and how we might be judged is a waste. It doesn’t help us. It makes us feel bad. It stops us from getting on with life.
Plus what others think of us is tainted by their reality. By the experiences they’ve had. By how they see life, which will not be the same as you. How can it be as we are all unique.
Just think about what you could be doing instead?
You could be spending time doing something you love. Like spending time with someone you love. Doing something that makes your heart sing. Living life. Isn’t that a better use of your time and energy?
Regularly sitting in judgement is exhausting, especially when it’s self judgement.
If you dared to stop, wouldn’t that feel better?
That weight that you’re carrying around would be lifted. Life would feel much easier. You would be free to experience life without second guessing your every move.
Being self aware is the key. The more we listen the more we hear. And then we can do something about it. Make better decisions. Take the right action. Say what is needed.
However, being a mum sometimes feels like the spotlight is permanently on. It feels like people are watching. Watching to see what you do next. How you’re raising your children. How you’re performing as a mum?
The truth is fewer people are watching than you think. Mainly because they’re all too busy with their own lives.
So the only person who is truly judging your actions, what you might say and how you behave is you.
Is this surprising?
For me, that judgment comes from my inner voice, the one I love to call Vera. The thing is, she’s neither good nor bad. She’s just trying to keep me safe. Making sure that I don’t do something silly, hurt myself or do something I may later regret.
And if I let her, she would be great at her job. But I’ve also decided that I cannot and will not make her redundant, as she does have a role to play. The thing to remember is, I do have a choice on how I handle the judgment that comes my way.
It’s about understanding it so you can make the right decision for you. Why not try this.
What’s the problem?
For the judgement to exist, it must have been triggered by something. So become the detective to understand what the real cause is rather than trying to satisfy the symptom.
What’s the motivator?
If you’re about to do something but you’re not quite sure whether to go ahead then understand what your motivation is for taking that action. Does it make sense? Or is it a reaction to something or someone?
Decide what’s best for you
We know what’s best for us and it’s about trusting that we will make the right decision or take the right action for us.
Take responsibility for your actions
Once you’ve made the decision, then commit to it knowing that it’s your decision. If you can’t do this then that’s your cue to stop. No one can actually make you do anything.
Take the time to pause and reflect on what’s happened. How did it go? Could you have done something differently?
So instead of worrying about what people might think or obeying your inner voice, take the time to understand your thinking and how that’s influencing your behaviour and the decisions you make.
What’s your next best move?
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