What Confidence Really Looks Like When You Don’t Feel It
You’ve probably had those days where confidence feels like a stranger. You’re leading at work, managing a million moving parts at home, holding everything together and yet inside, there’s doubt.
You second-guess yourself, wonder if you’re getting it right and feel as though everyone else is far more together than you are.
Confidence doesn’t always look like courage and certainty.
Sometimes, it’s standing tall when your knees are shaking.
Sometimes, it’s speaking up even when your heart is racing.
Sometimes, it’s simply getting through the day with all its challenges and still showing up again tomorrow.
True confidence isn’t about feeling fearless. It’s about choosing to move even when fear is present.
Why confidence matters more than you think
Without confidence, every decision feels harder and every challenge heavier.
When you doubt yourself, you waste energy replaying conversations in your head, worrying if you’ve done enough and constantly comparing yourself to others.
Over time, that eats away at your self-esteem and leaves you feeling overwhelmed.
For working mums especially, the pressure can feel relentless.
You want to be strong for your family, capable in your role and present in your own life. Yet when confidence feels shaky, everything feels unsteady.
Confidence isn’t something you’re either born with or without. It’s a skill. A muscle. And just like any muscle, it grows through use.
As JK Rowling once said, “The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.”
How you start building confidence in real life
Confidence grows not from waiting until you “feel ready”, but from the small steps you take every day.
Start with action
Confidence comes after you act, not before. That tough conversation, that meeting, that presentation—you grow by doing, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Reframe the wobble
Nerves don’t mean you’re failing. They mean you care. They mean you’re stretching yourself. Confidence is built in those stretches.
Claim your wins
Too often, you brush past the things you’ve achieved because you’re focused on the next task. Confidence grows when you pause and actually acknowledge what you’ve done well.
Anchor yourself
Before stepping into situations where confidence feels shaky, take a grounding breath, remind yourself of one time you overcame a challenge, and carry that memory with you.
As Davina McCall has said, “Confidence comes from what you do consistently. Show up, keep going, and it builds.”
What confidence really gives you
When you stop waiting to feel confident and start practising confidence, everything shifts.
You start trusting your judgement more. You stop overthinking every move. You walk into rooms without the weight of comparison. And perhaps most importantly, you show your children what authentic confidence looks like: not the absence of doubt, but the presence of courage.
This is the work I do with my clients. I coach high-achieving working mums who look outwardly capable yet often feel inwardly uncertain.
We build practical strategies that help you strengthen confidence, boost self-esteem and navigate overwhelm with clarity. The result is that you don’t just appear confident. You actually feel it.
If you’re ready to stop doubting yourself and start living with the kind of confidence that lasts, it’s time to get in touch.
Book your free discovery call today to see how I can help you https://meetings.hubspot.com/mummyonabreak
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