Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Women and Start Backing Yourself Instead
Ever caught yourself scrolling, watching, analysing and suddenly you’re knee-deep in comparing yourself to other women?
One minute you’re feeling fine, the next you’re questioning everything from your waistline to your career path to how well you’re parenting.
You’re high-achieving, capable and holding everything together.
And still feeling that wobble in confidence and self-esteem when someone else looks like they’re “doing life better”.
You are absolutely not alone.
“She’s smashing it and I’m… what?”
It starts innocently, doesn’t it?
You see a woman who seems to have it all sorted.
She has a great career, raising children, eating greens, doing pilates at 6am and glowing like she’s permanently fresh from a spa day.
Meanwhile, you’re reheating the same cup of tea for the third time and praying the school doesn’t ring you again.
Suddenly, your achievements feel… smaller.
Your energy drops.
Your inner critic wakes up.
Your mood spirals.
And your brain whispers,
“You should be doing more. You should be doing better.”
When in that moment, the truth is:
You are doing brilliantly.
You are managing real life.
You are building something meaningful.
So what about those women you’re comparing yourself to?
They have their own chaos too. Their own late-night mum guilt. Their own moments of doubt. Their own internal battles you never see.
Comparison is a thief of joy and also a thief of clarity. It pulls you out of your lane and into someone else’s highlight reel.
Why your brain goes there
Your mind is wired to scan, measure and evaluate.
Women have had this ingrained for generations. Be perfect, be productive, be present and look good doing it.
And that is exhausting.
Modern life has simply turned the volume up:
- Social media filters and curated feeds
- Work expectations
- Mum guilt
- Trying to “do it all” and “be it all”
No wonder your self-esteem gets shaky.
And let’s be honest, women do not simply want survival. You want to thrive. You want purpose, progress, pride in who you are and how you show up.
So when someone looks like they’re ahead, your nervous system reacts. It’s not a weakness. It’s wiring.
The problem is, comparing stalls your momentum. Instead of feeling inspired, you feel less than. Instead of celebrating your growth, you question it. Instead of backing yourself, you freeze.
It’s time to change that.
You can rewrite the narrative
Here’s what to do next time you feel yourself slipping into comparison mode.
Start with awareness:
“Ah, this is comparison talking.”
Then shift perspective:
“Her success doesn’t threaten mine, it shows me what is possible.”
Bring your focus home:
“What am I proud of today? Where am I growing?”
Protect your mental space:
- Mute accounts that drain you
- Follow those who genuinely inspire you
- Spend less time scrolling and more time living
Anchor into gratitude and celebration:
Each day, note three things you’re proud of and start small.
- I kept my cool with the kids this morning
- I moved my body
- I said no to something that didn’t serve me
- I asked for help
- I prioritised rest
These tiny moments build confidence and self-esteem like nothing else.
And something else.
When you admire another woman, tell her.
We rise higher when we rise together.
Imagine this version of you
Close your eyes for a moment. Picture yourself walking into a room or scrolling your feed without that flicker of insecurity.
You feel grounded.
You feel proud.
You feel centred in who you are.
You celebrate other women’s wins because they do not shake you — they energise you.
You trust your timeline.
You honour your energy.
You choose self-respect over self-judgement.
That’s the woman you’re becoming.
Comparison fades when you decide your worth is not up for negotiation.
You don’t need to be her.
You don’t need to look like her.
You don’t need to parent like her, earn like her, speak like her or live like her.
You just need to be you, fully and unapologetically.
Your next step
You deserve to feel anchored in confidence regardless of what other women are doing.
If part of you is thinking, “I know this… I just struggle to actually live it,” then your next move is support.
I coach high-achieving working mums who want to thrive without burning out, who want balance they can feel, and who are ready to break cycles that drain them and build habits that elevate them.
Imagine having someone in your corner, calling out your brilliance, challenging the doubt and guiding you back to your power every time life pulls you off track.
That’s what I do.
And you deserve that level of support.
If you’re ready to stop comparing and start living, get in touch.
Book your free discovery call today to see how I can help you.
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