Is This It? What to Do When Your ‘Good Enough’ Still Doesn’t Feel Like Enough

You’re not here to tick boxes. You’re here to thrive. You’re smart, successful, switched-on, juggling work, family and a never-ending mental load with a grace most people don’t even see. 

Yet under the surface, there’s a quiet frustration that bubbles up at the oddest times. 

“Why do I still feel like I’m falling short, even when I’m giving it everything?”

If that’s been circling in your head lately, you’re not alone. And you’re not weak. You’re just living under expectations that were never yours to carry.

The Hidden Pressure That’s Stealing Your Joy

You know that voice that tells you to do more, be more and achieve more, even when you’re running on fumes? It’s not actually your voice.

It’s a collection of subtle messages you’ve absorbed over the years: from school, society, social media and maybe even your family. And now, even your best effort doesn’t feel quite enough. 

That invisible pressure is exhausting.

I see it all the time with my coaching clients, brilliant women in transition. They’re stepping into new roles, launching businesses, leading teams, raising families and still questioning if they measure up. 

The truth is, confidence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about knowing you’re already whole, even when things feel messy.

Mel Robbins nailed it when she said: “You can’t hate yourself into a version you love.”

Let that sink in.

Time to Flip the Script on “Enough”

Here’s the reframe that changes everything:

• Your value isn’t tied to how productive you are.
• Your worth isn’t measured by how many spinning plates you can balance.
• You don’t need to do more to be more.

When I coach high-achieving women, one of the most powerful exercises we do is redefining success from the inside out. Not the version written by LinkedIn or Pinterest or your inner critic but your own personal definition. 

That’s when the magic happens.

Confidence returns. Self-esteem grows. They start living instead of feeling like they have to prove themselves, constantly. 

Michelle Obama said: “Am I good enough? Yes I am.”

It’s now time for you to believe it too.

Here are 5 tips that will break the “Not Enough” cycle. 

Write Your Own Success Rules

What lights you up? What does success feel like, not look like, for you? Create a short list of 3–5 personal criteria and let that be your North Star. 

Swap “Should” for “Want”

Shoulds come from obligation. Wants come from alignment. Next time you say, “I should…”, pause and check, do I want to? You’re allowed to make choices from desire, not duty.

Count the Quiet Wins

Confidence builds through evidence. Track the small wins: sticking to a boundary, being able to say ‘no’ or five minutes to breathe before dinner. These are massive in the long run.

Speak Kindly to Yourself

Would you tell your best mate she’s not good enough? Didn’t think so. Treat yourself with the same compassion. It’s not self-indulgent, it’s necessary. 

Get the Right Support

There’s no medal for doing it alone. Coaching offers the tools, space and strategy to quiet the inner critic and grow real confidence. This is the work I love doing with women like you.