What if feeling stuck is actually a sign that you’ve outgrown where you are?
There have been many times in my life when I have felt stuck, and if I’m honest, my first reaction wasn’t necessarily a positive one.
I would start questioning myself.
“What is wrong with me?”
“Why don’t I feel motivated?”
“Why can’t I just get myself moving?”
I used to see feeling stuck as a sign that I wasn’t doing something right and that somehow I should have been able to figure things out, feel more energised, or know exactly what I needed to do next.
However, over time, I’ve come to appreciate that feeling stuck isn’t actually a negative thing. It is usually a sign that something needs to change. And that’s not because anything is wrong with you, and it definitely isn’t because you’ve failed.
It’s simply because something in your life no longer feels right for where you are now.
Sometimes nothing is wrong, and that is the hardest part
The interesting thing about feeling stuck is that there isn’t always an obvious problem.
People look at their lives and think:
“Everything is fine.”
“I have a good job.”
“My family is healthy.”
“I should be happy.”
And yet, something doesn’t feel quite right, and that’s because feeling stuck isn’t about something being broken. Sometimes it’s because you have outgrown where you are.
The things that used to excite you might not feel as exciting anymore. The goals you once had might not feel like the goals you want anymore. The version of yourself that got you to where you are might not be the version of yourself that will get you where you want to go next.
And when you don’t recognise that, it can feel confusing. You start wondering why you aren’t feeling the way you think you should.
What does feeling stuck actually feel like?
The reality is that feeling stuck looks different for everyone. For some people, it shows up as a lack of energy. You’re still getting through the day, doing what needs to be done and still showing up for everyone else. However, everything feels harder than it used to.
For others, it might feel like a lack of motivation. You know there are things you need to do, and you might even know exactly what those things are, but you just can’t seem to take action.
Sometimes it can feel like you have lost yourself. You don’t feel excited about the things you used to enjoy, and you feel disconnected from who you are. You might even find yourself looking at your life and thinking, “Is this really it?” And because you don’t understand why you feel this way, it’s easy to start being hard on yourself.
What can you do when you feel stuck?
The first thing is to stop judging yourself for feeling this way. Feeling stuck does not mean you are lazy; it doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for what you have, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t capable.
It simply means there is something within you that is asking for your attention. So, the first step is to accept that this is how you feel right now, rather than fighting against it. Then get curious about it.
Ask yourself:
“What is this feeling trying to tell me?”
“What isn’t working for me anymore?”
“What do I actually want?”
Give yourself space to hear what is really going on
One of the biggest challenges we face is that we rarely give ourselves the space to think. There is always something competing for our attention, whether that is work, family, responsibilities, messages or notifications.
It feels like there is that constant pressure to keep going.
And when we are surrounded by all that noise, it becomes really difficult to hear ourselves.
So find some time where you can be alone with your thoughts and take a notebook so you can write them all down. It’s not about capturing them in a perfectly orderly way, so don’t try to make your thoughts neat and organised.
Just write whatever comes into your head and allow yourself to get everything out because often what you’re looking for doesn’t come from thinking about something over and over again. It comes when you create enough space to understand what is really going on.
Feeling stuck can feel uncomfortable. I know because I’ve experienced it many times myself.
However, it can also be the moment that helps you realise what needs to change and gives you the opportunity to create something that feels more aligned with who you are now.
So if you are feeling stuck, instead of asking yourself: “What is wrong with me?”
Try asking: “What is this feeling trying to show me?”
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