How to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself and Start Living Boldly

May 3, 2023 | Random stuff

Second guessing<br />

Do you often find yourself second-guessing your decisions? Do you feel stuck in a cycle of self-doubt? If so, you’re not alone. We all do it. And yes, I do it too. We’re only human.

It’s not unusual to experience moments of self-doubt, where we question our decisions and abilities. I think self-reflection is a healthy habit to nurture, however, constantly second-guessing ourselves is not healthy and can hold us back from reaching our full potential. Second-guessing can actually manifest in various ways, from procrastination to overthinking, and I don’t need to tell you can affect our relationships, careers and overall well-being.

The good news is that we can learn to recognise and overcome this self-sabotaging behaviour. By identifying the root of our self-doubt, challenging negative self-talk, building confidence and embracing failure, we can break free from the cycle of second-guessing and start living more freely.

It starts with developing a toolkit of practical strategies that will help you overcome self-doubt and then taking consistent action to get you to where you want to go.

Problem, autopilot, life change

Identify the Root of Your Second-Guessing

To stop second-guessing yourself, it’s crucial to identify the root causes of your self-doubt. What is it that makes you doubt yourself? To understand this, I encourage you to reflect on your past experiences to recognise patterns of self-doubt and investigate where they come from.

Often, self-doubt stems from limiting beliefs that we hold about ourselves and our abilities. By understanding these beliefs and challenging their validity, we can start to break the cycle of negative self-talk.

Challenge Your Self-Doubt

Once you’ve identified the root causes of your self-doubt, it’s time to challenge it. Reframe negative self-talk into positive self-talk by focusing on your strengths and accomplishments.

A great way to counteract self-doubt is to use evidence-based thinking. It can be as simple as asking yourself if there is evidence to support your negative beliefs. You can also use mindfulness to increase awareness of negative self-talk which will allow you to observe the chatter without judgement. By challenging your self-doubt, you’ll begin to develop a more positive and confident mindset.

Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

This is about identifying your strengths and accomplishments and focusing on them rather than your weaknesses. As I’ve said before, it’s about becoming comfortable with who you are. So, celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem, and practice self-care by prioritising your needs.

Building your confidence is about taking action and building momentum. That means setting realistic goals and taking small steps towards achieving them. With time, your confidence and self-esteem will grow, allowing you to tackle challenges with greater ease and confidence.

Take Action and Embrace Failure

You may not feel brave enough yet but you never will until you take that first step that will get you started. Break down your goals into small, manageable steps and take action towards them. 

And although life will not always turn out how you expected it to remember that it’s better to embrace failure as an opportunity for growth and learning, rather than a reflection of your abilities.

I invite you to celebrate the lessons learned from failures and use them to guide your future actions.

Remember that failure is a natural part of the learning process, and taking risks is necessary to achieve growth and success. By taking action and embracing failure, you’ll develop resilience and the confidence to pursue your dreams.

Maria Newman Coaching

Second-guessing ourselves can be a major obstacle to living boldly and confidently but you can overcome it. You just need to accept that it takes work, time and continuous practice.

So, remember to practice self-compassion throughout this process, as overcoming self-doubt can be a challenging journey. And don’t forget to celebrate your successes, no matter the size, and be patient with yourself as you work towards your goals.

Yes it’s about the journey not the destination so allow yourself to feel it and enjoy it.

Is it time to stop second-guessing yourself?


You might also like to read, Five Steps to Finding Yourself Again and Regaining Your Personal Identity

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