Do you want to forgive?
Life is not always fair. Things will happen to us that we wish hadn’t.
There may be times when we feel powerless to do what we know is right.
There may be times when we feel weak and someone takes advantage.
There may be times when we’re too scared to take action because it feels too hard.
It’s only natural to hold on to these experiences and wish the outcome was different or that it didn’t happen. Continuously replaying the experience to see if you could have changed it. You may be fortunate enough to figure out how you could have changed things but the fact is the past has happened and cannot be changed. But that doesn’t mean it has to define your future.
You see, the past can often act as an anchor to keep us where we are. To stop us from moving forward by holding onto the experiences we’ve had, whether that’s the influence of others or an event.
Would you prefer to stay where you are? Dwelling on the past.
Or, are you ready to accept that the past has happened and you cannot change it? Are you ready to decide who you want to be, where you want to go and the action you will now take?
One of the best quotes I’ve read is by Oprah Winfrey who said “forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different”. By holding onto that hope, you are stopping yourself from moving forward in life. You are holding on to all of the feelings of that time. You are locking yourself away from living life.
Forgiveness is not about saying what happened is okay. Forgiveness is about you. It’s about deciding to release the emotions and feelings that you are holding onto. By holding onto those feelings you are continuing to punish yourself.
So you have a choice. Only you know when you’re ready to take the steps towards your freedom. When you’re ready you may want to try the following.
Only you know what you have experienced. Give yourself some time and space to acknowledge it. You may find it useful to journal about the experience or even talk to a trusted friend.
There is no way of changing what has happened. If you can accept it you are then more likely to be able to move past it and stop yourself from replaying different scenarios about how things could have been different.
It’s about being brave and allowing yourself to feel all the feelings and emotions instead of holding onto them and burying them within. This is the only way to can let go of them.
Show yourself some kindness. Be aware of the language you use when talking to yourself. You need to give yourself time which also means being patient.
Then it really is up to you what happens next. Will you choose to move on?
You get to decide what happens next. You get to decide whether you want to remain in the past or live in the present to create a wonderful future.
Are you ready to forgive?
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You might also like to read, Life is not about living on autopilot
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