3 Brutally Honest Reasons You’re Not Getting What You Want Yet
It’s not that you don’t know what you want; most of the women I work with could tell you straight away what they want if you asked.
They say things like, they want more freedom, they want to feel more in control of their life, they want to stop feeling like they’re constantly reacting to everything and everyone else, and on some level, they do know that it’s there.
The real challenge is what lies beneath those surface desires.
Knowing what you want is only part of the solution; acting in line with that knowledge is what breaks the feeling of being stuck.
Fortunately, there are 3 things that you need to be doing that will help.
If you want your reality to be different, then you need to get serious about living life differently.
You don’t fully believe it’s available to you
Until you believe it, it will not happen. And just because you said it out loud, it doesn’t mean you believe it.
If secretly you’re thinking ‘yeah right’, then you don’t believe.
So you can say you want something, and you probably do mean it at some level.
You might even take steps towards it, you might look into it, think about it, talk about it, maybe even start things around it, and still there’s this part of you that says, “Yes, but I’m not sure that actually applies to me.”
I’ve seen this many times with clients where they’re doing all the right things on the surface, they’re motivated, they’re trying, and yet their decisions are still slightly cautious, slightly held back, and slightly filtered through doubt.
It’s not until I question their belief that they realise what is really going on.
They don’t believe they are worthy. They don’t believe they can. They don’t believe it will happen for them.
I cannot stress how powerful what you believe is.
Just look around you and notice the individuals who are successful and have what they want. Those individuals whom you look up to and admire.
One of the things that sets them apart is what they believe.
You’re not as hungry for it as you think you are
I’m going to say this carefully, because it can sound harsh if you take it the wrong way, and I don’t mean it in that way at all.
Wanting something and being willing to change your life around it are not the same thing.
You can want something deeply, you can think about it often, you can feel frustrated that it’s not happening, and still be living in a way where nothing really changes because the current version of life is still manageable enough for you to stay there.
And I don’t mean comfortable in a nice way, I mean familiar in a way that doesn’t force a decision.
So what tends to happen is you stay in thinking mode, you stay in preparing mode, you stay in “I’ll figure it out soon” mode, and life just continues in the same direction.
I’ve watched as that realisation has dawned on people, and it then forces them to either stay where they are because, actually, there is no desire there. Or, they take steps to become clear on what they really want, which then ignites the spark inside them to go all in.
You’re taking action, just not the kind that actually moves things forward
This is probably the one that confuses people the most because they are taking action.
Their days are full, their minds are full, they’re constantly thinking about what needs to change, and yet when they look at their life over a longer period of time, it feels like they’re in the same place.
And usually that’s because a lot of the action is internal rather than directional, or they are doing the wrong things, or a bit of both.
If you don’t believe and you have no desire to change, then your motivation to take action is in the wrong direction.
Which then leads to frustration because you think you’re taking action, and yet you’re getting nowhere.
So what actually changes this?
So this is not about doing more.
It starts with being honest with yourself in a way that feels uncomfortable, and that’s why people avoid it.
Ask yourself, “What do you actually believe about what’s possible for you?”
Not what you say.
What you believe when you’re on your own, and nothing is being explained or justified.
What are you actually willing to change in your current life to make space for something different, because if nothing changes in how you’re living now, nothing different really gets created.
Where are you spending energy that feels like movement but isn’t creating progress, because most people don’t need more input, they need less noise around decision-making.
And finally, choosing one thing you’ve been circling around and finally doing it, not after more thinking, just from a place of deciding it’s time.
What I help people do with this
When women come to me, they need someone to help them see what they’re not seeing clearly, to help them separate what actually matters from what’s just noise, and then to turn that into simple action that fits into real life, not an ideal version of life that doesn’t exist.
And when that happens, things don’t feel as stuck anymore because it becomes clear what to do next.
If you’ve read this and thought, this is me — this is your next step. Click this LINK to find out more.
If you can relate then follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
If you enjoyed reading my blog then share it on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
