What’s your story?

Aug 1, 2019

Do you wake up in the morning and feel like you’re getting back on your hamster wheel or the treadmill of life? That was how I was feeling back in 2015. Life was good but it had become a habit. I’d got stuck into a routine.

Wake up and get my daughter sorted. Drop her off at childcare. Go to work. Finish work. Pick up my daughter. Come home. Bath my daughter and put her to bed. Make dinner. Sit in front of the TV exhausted from the day. Go to bed. Next morning and start all over again.

I’d lost all sense of who I was. Everything I was doing was about my family. I didn’t feature. I would look at hubby and be envious of the energy he had. He worked just as hard as me but somehow he was still energised enough, once our daughter had gone to bed, to do things for him. Whereas I was knackered. I felt like life was passing me by.

Why were we so different? We were different because I’d lost the zest for life. I’d lost my passions. I was existing. I was so focused on making sure everyone else was okay that I was ignoring me.  

Fast forward 12 months and that’s when I decided to take action. I took voluntary redundancy from my corporate job. I was on maternity leave with baby number 2. I also had no plan.

So, I decided to give myself a bit of breathing space and enjoy what was the rest of my maternity leave. But I knew I’d have to come up with some sort of plan as life is not free. There are bills to pay. Plus, I wanted to work.

I decided to give myself 2017 to sort myself out. Get involved in life. Make a conscious decision on what I actually wanted to do for myself. I got back into music. I started volunteering at the children’s hospital. And I set up an annual Children’s Christmas Fair, Little Elves Festive Fair, in support of CLIC Sargent. Obviously, none of which paid me a salary.

When I left my job, I always thought I would just go and get another one. I was fine with being an employee. It was safe. I just wanted a career I was passionate about.

Now the last time I’d looked for a job was over 15 years ago. I needed help. The answer. A life coach. Anna. I wanted my career to fit in with my life. Not the other way around.  Otherwise, what was the point of leaving my job in the first place.

One of the first things she asked me was ‘what do you really want?’ My answer. I wanted to start my own business. But I didn’t have an idea. Wow. I didn’t see that one coming. Over the next few months, it became clear that I definitely wanted to start my own business. Why? I found myself looking at job ads and not feeling inspired whatsoever. Besides, retirement was still 25 years away. That’s a long time. And there was no way I was going to return to the same hamster wheel.

I also remember describing to Anna my retirement plan and saying that’s when I can do what I really want. What? Wait 25 years to do what you really want? How ridiculous does that sound? Spend 25 years existing just to get to the point where I feel I can do what I want.

Life is short. 25 years could be a third of my life. What a waste.

That’s what inspired me to throw caution to the wind and get on with things. That’s what still inspires me today. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not careless. I’ve got my eyes open. I’d never do anything to jeopardise the security of my family and my relationship. Hubby is fully aware of what I want even if I can’t always explain exactly what I’m doing.

Does this sound familiar? Are you on your own hamster wheel? Are you itching to get off but don’t know how?

Life is what you make it. If you accept to just exist then you’re accepting to stay on your hamster wheel. Getting off the wheel doesn’t mean leaving your job. It means taking control. It means making sure life includes activities that make you happy.

Can you imagine looking back on your life and muttering the words ‘I wish I’d ………” I don’t want to be that person. I want to look back on my life and know I had an awesome journey. I made the most of it.

That’s my story according to Mummy on a Break

What’s your story? 

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