What would happen if you couldn’t breathe?
Do you really know why the air stewards tell us to put our oxygen masks on first before attempting to help anyone else?
It’s simple. If you can’t breathe then how can you help anyone else?
And that’s true in life too. If you’re not looking after yourself then eventually you won’t be able to look after those you love. And not only that, what example are you setting for others? For the wonderful people in your life who see you as their role model and who you want the best for.
So it’s ironic, that when we become a mummy we immediately put ourselves at the bottom of this virtual list. We insist on making sure that everyone else’s needs are satisfied first and then wonder why we’re too tired or lack time to do anything about ours.
I love to help. I’ve always loved to help. Helping others makes me happy. And if there’s a problem, I’m there lending a hand and trying to figure out what the solution is. I’m ready and willing to put my needs aside to make sure that everyone else is okay.
This is a lovely quality to have but not if we’re not also helping ourselves and making sure that our needs are being met. To make sure that we’re also okay. To make sure that we’re getting the help that we need. After all, if we’re not looking after ourselves then how do we expect to be able to help others.
The thing is, our needs are just as important as those we love, yet we’d never dream of not supporting them. So why do it?
Is it that you think you’re not important?
Is it that you don’t think you’re worth it?
Is it that you think you can wait?
Whatever your reason, I can tell you it’s just an excuse. An excuse that is making it okay to put yourself at the bottom of the list. No one is forcing you to be at the bottom of the list.
Only you can decide where you on this list, so stop putting yourself at the bottom.
But where to start?
Here are my top 5 tips
Create good boundaries
It’s important to have simple and clear boundaries. Boundaries that stop us from saying no to ourselves and yes to everybody else. Boundaries that clearly protect us and help us to meet our needs.
It could be as simple as finishing work at a set time every day. It could be as simple as going for an uninterrupted daily walk. It could be as simple as going to bed at 10pm every night.
Bookend the day like a hug
We all know that you can’t drink from an empty cup, and when it comes to our wellbeing we need to be practicing habits that allow us to fill our cup. That’s why having simple daily routines can help us to feel energised and calm.
This could be stretching first thing in the morning to physically wake your body before you do anything else. This could be saying daily affirmations to focus your mind and set your intentions for the day. This could be journaling before bed to let go of the day’s stresses.
Invest in you
You wouldn’t think twice about showing others that you think they’re worth it. However, how often do you show yourself that you’re worth it? You may see it as treating yourself but in fact you’re investing in yourself.
Whether this is investing in your mind, body or soul, it’s important and it doesn’t have to mean spending any money either. It might be about simply giving yourself some space and time daily for just you.
Embrace your tribe
It’s so important to surround yourself with the right people. The type of people who will lift you up and who have your back. That’s not a crowd of ‘yes’ people but people who will be honest and want what’s best for you.
They’re the ones that help you fill your cup, that make you smile and makes your heart sing.
Listen to your body
Our bodies are amazing and communicate with us regularly. They have the power to heal and put us back into balance when we get a knock. So if you notice a niggle, don’t assume it will go away. Stop and take the time to resolve it. Because doing something when it whispers is easier than when it starts shouting.
There are many simple things you can do to help yourself. It’s now up to you to take action and ensure that you sometimes feature in the top spot. Because if you don’t put yourself there no one else will.
Are you putting yourself at the top of the list?
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You might also like to read ‘Are you a good role model?‘
Free guide ‘Five tips to help create a stronger mindset‘
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