How can we find balance in our busy lives?
You’ve heard me talk a lot about putting yourself first. How important it is to look after ourselves in the same way we look after those we love.
And because of my passion to get this message across, I can regularly be heard repeating the flight safety announcement.
‘Ensure you put on your own oxygen mask before attempting to help others’
It’s simple, if you can’t function then how can you help those who you care about. And if you choose to continue carrying on regardless of the amount of stress and pressure that you’re putting on yourself. Then your body will soon let you know. First gentle and if you don’t listen then maybe more strongly.
To understand how, as mums, doing it all can affect us I’ve turned to expert Sarah Tompsett from Sarah Tompsett Kinesiology.
You can’t pour from an empty cup
How many times have you heard that saying, acknowledged it, but not taken any action to ensure you’re not?
I’d always wanted children, but before having them, I didn’t give much thought to the pressures that come with being a Mum. Sure, I pondered what maternity leave would be like and I tried to imagine how changing to part-time hours would work both financially and practically, but mostly those things were drowned out by the incredible emotions of love and joy at meeting our little creations.
What I wasn’t prepared for was the sheer amount of responsibility and huge expectations I put on myself as I embarked on the journey of motherhood!
Why is it that as Mums we generally* take on additional responsibilities to motherhood such as party planner, gift buyer, meal maker, house cleaner, lost items locator, Dame Washalot, etc?! (*I know some Dads may fulfil these roles too).
I suspect the reason is generations of subconscious programming for little girls around a much outdated paradigm; that Mums do EVERYTHING when it comes to the children and the home.
In essence, we are expected to parent like we don’t have a job and work like we don’t have children! In reality, cultural and societal expectations on Mums have changed – now a lot of Mums work too – and we simply cannot do all the things; at least not in the long term.
The cost of being wonder woman!
No matter what the expectations of the world we live in, we are only human. It is impossible to continue spinning all the plates and juggling all the balls without something giving. That something is usually our health and wellbeing, be that physical, mental or both.
Holding so many things at once in our heads and always being on the go has a massive negative impact on our bodies. Overdrive inevitably leads to overwhelm, which can often look like:
- Sleep patterns getting messed up leaving us feeling tired all the time
- Not eating properly nor hydrating ourselves adequately due to a perceived lack of time
- Picking up bugs and colds that we wouldn’t usually
- Feeling ‘tired but wired’ and unable to switch off
- Becoming short tempered with loved ones
Over time, the nervous system, the digestive system, our hormones and the immune system – to name a few – will get depleted and out of balance. This in turn will impact our energy levels and ability to ‘hold it all together’.
It is often said the key to life is balance. With busy working mums, there is often an imbalance that needs redressing so that we can continue to be ‘the glue’ that holds the family together.
Getting back in balance starts with a shift in mindset. Here are a few suggestions to begin with.
Less martyrdom (come on, we’ve all had those moments!) and more asking for help, whether that be from a partner, parents, friends or neighbours. Help is always there; women are not always that good at asking for it and can feel guilty receiving it. Remember, we all feel good when we help others, so you’d actually be helping promote that feel-good feeling in someone else when you accept offers of help. Win-win!!
Less time on others and more time on looking after yourself. Let’s face it, there will always be something ‘to do’ at home or at work. Working on re-establishing your boundaries and what works for you / what doesn’t is a good starting point. It is ok to say no sometimes.
Less overdrive and more time to stop and relax. Spending the majority of the day on the go means we are in sympathetic nervous system mode. This is the mode that is referred to as ‘fight or flight’ and can lead to exhausted adrenals, which in turn leads to other hormonal or digestive imbalances. Make space for downtime at the end of each day to help your body get into the parasympathetic nervous system mode so that the body can concentrate on restoration and repair.
Making small incremental changes has a positive accumulative effect and most importantly, you’ll begin to feel your cup filling up!
A Helping Hand
I hope you’ve found this blog post helpful and that it has resonated with you on some level.
My passion, and now my job although it doesn’t feel like work, is supporting working mums and children to get back on track with their health and wellbeing through kinesiology. Kinesiology is an alternative therapy that gets to the root cause of issues rather than focusing on the symptoms. It is a fantastic natural way to release stress from the body and restore balance to physical, emotional, chemical and energetic health.
Thank you Sarah for sharing your knowledge and expertise.
How are you filling your cup?
If you want to have a taster of what I do then why not sign up to my FREE 30 MINUTE ONLINE COURSE, How to put yourself first in 5 easy steps. Just click the link to learn more.
You might also like to read ‘Six reasons why it’s good to fail’
Or why not check out my YouTube channel for ‘5 tips to improve physical wellness’
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