Having the courage to change

Jan 29, 2020

Have I mentioned that life is short? Yes, I have. And so, I want to fill it with whatever makes me happy. Or at least limit doing things that make me either unhappy or just go ‘meh’.

This first started when I decided to change jobs. To find work that I wanted to do. It was that niggling feeling, that I actually had for years, that was telling me that I needed a change. But I was comfortable. Very comfortable. I had a good job. I was well paid. Why would I need to change anything?

It took becoming a mum to make me stop and think. Yes, I wanted to do what was right for me. But more importantly, I wanted to show my kids that I was genuinely doing what I wanted. I want them to have dreams. I want them to wholly go after their dreams. So why shouldn’t I follow my dreams? Be doing what I would be telling them to do.

Well, some might say I opened Pandora’s box. Because what started off with just looking for the work I actually wanted got me thinking about other things. Got me reflecting on things.

Two things stood out. My relationships and how I was.

To repeat myself, life is short. There’s no point in consciously putting myself in situations that I don’t want to be in. Or being with people who drain me of energy. Energy vampires.

So to be blunt, I decided I only wanted to spend time with people who made me happy. People who got me. People who understood me. To quote a very well used phrase “being with my tribe”. So liberating.

How I am
I can be somewhat of a people pleaser. I think this is because I want to get things right. I want any conflict resolved immediately rather than for it to fester. I want people to be happy. I like harmony. And as a mum, sometimes it’s easier to just do it rather than get someone else to. Yep, not really helping myself.

Well, things have changed.

I still want harmony. But there’s a way of having it and not feeling like you’re at the bottom of the pile, because you’re always satisfying everyone else’s needs. First, you need to be vocal. This doesn’t mean initiating an argument. Just being open and honest. Yes, it does sound easy. But why does it have to be difficult?

For me, it’s taken being comfortable in my own skin to have the courage and confidence to change things. To choose change over being comfortable. It takes a lot of practice and yes, I do have down days. But that’s part of being human.

So having been on this journey of evolution, I want to help others. Help others find their voice. Help others make the changes that would improve things. Especially other mums. Mums like me.

And that’s another reason for developing my online course.

That’s ‘Having the courage to change’ according to Mummy on a Break.

How have you changed?

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