Are you getting the most out of your relationships?
Let’s talk about relationships. We have so many different types of relationships in our lives. Family, friends, partners, children, work etc. Some that build us up. Others that drain us of energy and are hard work. The good ones fill us with love, joy and happiness. The not so good ones bring us down.
I want to fill my life with the relationships that make me happy. Life is too short and time is too precious. So my focus is on the ones that fill my heart with joy.
The thing is, we can’t change people. It’s not up to us to change people. But we are fully in control of our behaviour. The way we react. The decisions we make. For me, it’s about how we manage relationships.
Managing relationships
My relationships fall into 5 groups. Hubby, kiddies, family, friends and work colleagues. Each one is different and each one gives me something different. Up until recently, I accepted them for what they were. I’ve now realised that to really enjoy my relationships and get the most out of them it’s more than that.
It’s about:
· knowing why I’m in this relationship
· understanding what the relationship means to me
· understanding the individuals I have relationships with
· acknowledging the changes in our lives
This has made things a lot clearer for me. I feel generally more relaxed. I can enjoy spending time with people. I can truly be me.
Things to consider
I’ve taken time to think about what I want my relationships to look like. How I want them to make me feel. What I want to give to my relationships. This is especially true with my kids. They are two very assertive funny children. I want our household to be calm and fun, which is easy when everyone is calm and fun.
But what about the times when things become hectic? Or when time is against us and we need to move quickly? Or when one of them is throwing a tantrum? Not so easy. This is where I need to remain calm. Again not so easy. Trying to battle with them is hard work. And you can’t reason with children who are fired up.
So for me, the relationship with my children is all about love. This doesn’t mean that when things are tough I’m a pushover. I still stand my ground. I remain consistent. I remind them that I love them. Trust me they calm down a lot more quickly than when it turns into a battle of wills.
People Change
We are not the same person we were 5, 10 or 20 years ago. Priorities change. Situations change. And as a result, relationships change. You may find that people drift away. You have less in common with people. This is only natural.
There is a well known poem written by someone anonymous that describes how people are in your life for either a season, reason or lifetime. I believe in this. And yes it is sad when we lose touch with people or something changes. But it’s part of life.
Obligations
There are some people that you have to have in your life. Maybe a family member. Maybe a work colleague. For me, this is about acknowledging their presence. Being respectful and polite. Knowing what the boundaries are. Not taking anything personally.
Glass half empty
What about the friend that always sees life as negative. Well, this is a very personal decision. Do you minimise contact? Do you cut them out of your life? I know a bit harsh. It’s up to you. Firstly, what are you comfortable with? Secondly, how would they feel?
Relationships are so important in my life. I’d find it hard to believe that anyone can exist without relationships. Although I know there are people in this world who choose to live a life of solitude.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite happy with my own company but I’m even happier when I’m with people. People who I admire, love or inspire me. This may be because I’m a Taurean. It may come from my Greek heritage. But the fact is I love good company and I cherish all my relationships.
That’s relationships according to Mummy on a Break
What do you think?
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