Are people always letting you down?
You may know by now that I’m a planner, and so, unless something drastic happens, I deliver on my commitments. After all, I’d hate to see a good plan go wrong! And for a long time, it used to annoy me when others didn’t stick to their commitments.
As far as I was concerned it was simple. Just do what you said you do. That’s what I do. But we are all different. And not only that, things are constantly changing. It’s part of life. So we change and adapt depending on what’s going on, the experiences that we have and the life lessons we learn.
I learnt pretty quickly that there’s usually more going on than what you can see. Common sense really. However, common sense is not all that common!
Before assuming someone has let you down, it’s best to understand what might be going on with them. You never know. You may be able to help.
Here are five things to consider before jumping to the wrong conclusion.
They may have forgotten
It may be that simple. They promised to help you or do something for you and they simply forget. There is so much going on in the world, it’s easy to see how things can get forgotten.
In which case, give them a gentle nudge to check in with them. See if they are still able to help. After all, you don’t really know what’s going on unless you ask.
And remember, don’t take it personally if things have changed and they are now unable to help you.
They may have said yes to please you
There will be some people who simply don’t want to offend you and so will just say yes to make you happy without really thinking about what they are committing to or the consequences if they let you down.
It’s as if their default is yes.
However, instead of making assumptions about what has happened, reach out to them to see if they can indeed help and be open minded to what response you may get.
They may have realised it’s too much of a commitment
Sometimes people just want to help. No matter what it is. The problem is, they may have overcommitted themselves and something has just got to give. Which may mean letting you down. This calls for understanding. They wanted to help but underestimated the time they had.
They may have other priorities
As I said, life is constantly changing and we need to accept that our priorities are not the same as everyone else’s. Sometimes life’s priorities may not even give the person a chance to let you know what is happening.
Instead of jumping to conclusions, get in touch to see if everything is okay. By approaching it in this way, you are more likely to find out what’s going on and also have time to make other arrangements.
They don’t like saying no
And finally, they may not be able to say no. We don’t really like saying no. It doesn’t feel kind, even if it puts us in an awkward position when we end up letting people down. We’ll say yes and worry about the consequences late.
So you see, there are several simple and valid reasons why friends, family and acquaintances may be letting you down. However, by communicating and not making assumptions, you can find out what’s really going on in such a way that it ends positively rather than negatively affecting relationships.
What action will you take?
You might also like to read ‘Six reasons why it’s good to fail’
Or why not check out my YouTube channel for ‘5 tips to help you with self care’
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